WORKING WHILE STUDYING GIVES ME DEPRESSION

 Hello! 

It has been a bumpy road for me since 2017 I started my part time study in bachelor degree of accounting study. Fulltime working as account assistant while part time studying are the only option I have had. Why? Because I made a mistake during my diploma time. I was supposed to take an English test to pursue my degree in the same university but I didn't have time to take it. Therefore, I took the exam later after I finished my diploma and graduated and so. 

Next step I apply for degree in other government-university but it seems like it's a little too late for me. At that time, I don't have money to get into private university because the fee is so expensive. So I got myself a job or two to support my daily life. Of course I have a parent and I still lived with them but I don't want to burden them. I try to apply again, this time for sure I apply the same university when I was in diploma, and they said the chance I can get in is to apply the part time study mode. I agreed. 

At first, I thought that ahh this will be okay, it will be fine since I can have time for my job at the same time I study there. I pursue it not knowing that it gives me hard time in my life. I got stressed because I had no day to relax. This was because, on Monday to Friday I have to work 8 hours a day. Then on Saturday and Sunday, I have classes. After 2 years doing so, my mental just can't keep up with me anymore. I began to felt like I WANT TO END THIS. 

Seriously, I can't think straight. I always spent my time alone. I don't want to be disturbed. What I do during my worktime I don't even know. I can't even achieve my goal to get better CGPA. It's been a horrid time for me. I cried every night thinking that I'm so tired that I want to end this quickly. I was not sure what I want to end. I just cried. 

Luckily I have my supports. My friends and family are the only one I trusted. I listened to their solution. I accepted the fact that my life is not all about work and study. I work because I have to earn money. I have to study to get a degree for me to get better job. This hard time only for few years more. I pushed myself to go on with it. Complete all the task, fulfill all the time with activity. I can get rest during nights after my worktime and studies. I always have time to rest but I didn't knew it at first because I always cried and be alone during night time before. 

I changed my mindset. I began to step up and live with my life. I find my purpose. I'm not going to stop until I've tried. Whatever the result shows, I've done my best. Now it has been 4 years since I started my studies. I left with 2 years to complete my degree. I hope I chase my dream to become an accountant. 

Whatever you do, don't give up.